Phil Is Not On Fire
by strawberry4life
Summary: (Random Five-Shot) As the anniversary of 'Phil is not on fire' is coming up, I thought I'd do something special for our two favorite British men. Based off videos so no slash involved. Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
1. Part 1

_**As the anniversary of 'Phil is not on fire' is coming up (October 25th), I thought I'd do something related with it...**_

_**So without further or do, here are the 'phil is not on fire's'. :)**_

_**P.S. Feel free to listen along to the actual videos.**_

_**P.P.S. This is going to be a five-shot as putting all 5 in one would make this (if it was a) one-shot too long.**_

* * *

_**~~~~~Phil Is Not On Fire~~~~~**_

The camera pans Dan's face, his mouth about to stuff a lion into it.

"Putting the lion in your mouth?" Phil asked in the background.

The scene changes so that you can now see both Dan and Phil.

"Why do you always put cat whiskers on your face?" Dan asked.

Dan then started to giggle slightly, the cat whiskers drawn on his face as Phil meows softly.

"What does a giraffe sound like?"

"Raaar, awhhe." Phil spat out while Dan pushed his nose up with his finger.

They then started to laugh.

"That's- every animal makes that noise with you." Dan remarked.

Phil then proceeded to do it again.

"Zehbra."

"Zebra."

"Zebra." Dan said in a higher pitched voice.

The giraffe noises then started again, but in slow motion this time. Dan started to laugh before the scene changed again.

"If you had to lose your leg or your nose, which would you choose?" Dan asked.

Phil laughed slightly. "I'd lose my leg. Can you imagine my face without a nose?" Phil asked, covering up his nose. "Aggh."

"Voldemort has no nose, and Voldemort is pretty fit to be honest."

"I already look like Voldemort."

"I would bang Voldemort." Dan said.

"HARRY." Phil exclaimed.

Then Phil pulled out a bear claw.

"Ninja or pirate?"

"Ninja. Woooo." Phil said, moving his arms.

"I am naked right now." Dan said.

"OOH." Phil said.

The video sped up, making Dan and Phil sound like chipmunks... or well, slightly.

"Would you eat ham everyday for the rest of your life if you got paid a million pounds for every month you've lived?" Dan asked.

"Yes, although, I'd probably die of ham poisoning."

"Ham overload."

"Ham overdose... HAM."

"Ham."

"Haaam."

The speed went back to normal. Then, Phil pushed a stuffed animal to the camera, saying "Let's go for it!"

"Is your house still haunted?.. Uhh, you may not know but, Phil actually lives in the hotel from the film _'The Shining.'_..."

Dan started to take them on a tour of the hotel.

"There they have the death cathedral window... Demonic toy #1... Generally the hotel from '_The Shining'_... Pictures of the family that were brutally murdered in this hour 200 years ago... What the hell is that ohh, ohh." Dan paned the camera away. "Where we going?... Front door of death... The actual scariest doll in existence. That will literally just chop you up in your sleep." Dan said, moving closer to it. "Isn't that right?" Dan asked, moving the camera to Phil who nodded his head.

The scene then reappeared back to Phil's bedroom.

"Possibly the scariest thing in the house." Dan said, panning the camera on Phil, referring to him.

They are sitting back down now, papers in Dan's hands.

"Who was your first love?"

"You're mum."

"May I stoke your glabella?" Dan asked, a sly smile on his face.

"What's a glabella?" Phil asked.

"Let's find out what a glabella is!" Dan said.

"Okay." Phil said quietly.

"The glabella is the space between the eyebrows and above the nose." Dan said, reading off from the laptop.

"There?" Phil asked.

"There." Dan asked.

"Show the diagram." Phil said.

Dan swung the computer around, showing us the diagram... Even though we really can't see it...

"That's so interesting Phil... I bet they're all so glad they can see the diagram."

Scene switch. Dan's standing up while holding lion in front of Phil.

Phil leans forward and kisses it.

"Is it fun being a man now?" Dan asked, moving the lion around.

"Yeaah!" Phil said. "Especially now that I've got my cordless hammer drill." Phil pulled up a _Performance Power: Cordless Hammer Drill _into view.

"So manly." Dan said, placing the lion down.

Phil flexed his muscles while Dan growled... kinda.

Phil started doing reps.

"Oh yeah." Dan said.

"Oh yeah." Phil copied.

They both start laughing as Phil cuddles his head into Dan's chest before sitting upright again. **_(A/N asdfghkl;')_**

"What would you do if a ghost-" Phil cut him off.

"Gah- I need to stop." Phil said, placing his tongue back into his mouth.

Dan is now laying in Phil's bed. "Can you say something in french?"

Phil then said something in french. _**(A/N Sorry for not writing what he actually said. I don't take french, I take italian and honestly, I'd probably butcher what he says completely.)**_

"That's the only thing I remember from french class." Phil said.

Then Dan says something in french as well.

Now Dan is sitting next to Phil. "Do you use an iron to straighten your hair like Steven(phen. don't know which one) does?" Dan asked.

"Yes." Phil answered.

"No, okay," Dan started to say, pushing Phil out of the way as Phil grinned. "Phil has really crappy GHD's that don't even work." Dan got close to the camera, backing up soon after. "They are pound land GHD's."

"GDH's." Phil said.

"They are GDH's." Dan repeated.

Phil then started to talk in french again.

The scene changes again, to where it looks like Dan is on some excercise machine... _**(*gasps, wait... DAN DOESN'T DO EXCERCISES!1!)**_

"I'm recording."

"Are you actually?" Dan asked, laughing slightly.

"Yeah." Phil chuckled.

Now back to the bedroom.

"I think you should quack."

Then they did some type of quack.

Dan and Phil are laughing. "You just cannot say that."

"No."

"How do rabbits get protein?" Dan asked.

"From eating a lot of meat."

"Should I even bother asking about your feet?"

"NO." Phil said sternly... then proceeded to push his feet into the camera.

"If you came with a warning label, what would it say?"

"DANGER."

Phil pulled out Wall-E and started to push in onto Dan's face.

"Wall-E." Dan said, trying to lick it as Phil moved it away.

"Waaaaall-E."

"Would you and your lion ever have a threesome with Hannah Montana?"

Phil was holding up lion and a picture of HM while poking his tongue out.

Dan all of sudden was up close, licking the picture of HM as Phil laughed.

He then stuffed it in his mouth, moaning 'Miley'.

"Do you have eyelashes?"

"No."

"What was your first word?" Dan asked.

"Light." Phil said. "Light." He said again with a higher voice.

Scene change and now Phil and Dan have switched sides.

"This is the most fun I've ever had- Oohh" Dan got cut off.

Phil had a little smirk on his face before turning around and launching himself at Dan, knocking them both over, laughing.

They made hearthands.

"Byeeeee." They both said.

"That was so cheesy."

"It wa- it's supposed to be cheesy."

"Byebye everybody."

"Goodbye."

"Byebye."

Phil said licked the air as Dan leaned forward and nearly licked the camera, making it look like he was licking the screen.

* * *

_**Stay tuned for Philisnotonfire 2 :)**_

_**Byebyeeeeee **_


	2. Part 2

The camera turned on, Dan and Phil appeared on the screen.

"What is with the cat whiskers?" Dan asked.

The scene jumped to where Dan and Phil have whiskers on their faces.

"What cat whiskers?" Dan asked before purring his tongue. Once in normal speed, the next slowed down.

Dan moved closer to the screen. "HAVE MY BABIES!" Dan exclaimed.

"Would she want to give me the babies?" Phil asked. _**(A/N... Wait, WUT?)**_

"What sort of words do you guys say differently to Americans?"

"We say 'pavement'."

"What do they say?" Dan asked, slightly confused.

"Sidewalk." Phil said, the word seeming foreign to him.

"Sidewalk." Dan repeated in an American accent.

"Irsrish wrishwrash." Dan said.

"Irish wristwatch." Phil said.

"Irish wristwatch." Dan said again, but with a higher voice.

"Sidewalk." Said by Dan but sped up.

"Mmm." Dan mumbled, pushing his face in front of the camera.

"Meow." They said.

"Would you rather a mermaid's tail and your face or have a fish face and your body?" Dan asked Phil.

"Ha, a mermaid's tail on my face."

Dan started to laugh along with Phil. "What?" Phil asked.

"Dahhhhh." Exclaimed Dan as they put tails on their faces...

"I'm British and I walk on the pavement." Dan said in a sarcastic voice.

Scene change, Dan is bouncing on Phil's bed as Phil makes noises...

"Bowe, bowe."

"If you were locked up in prison, how would you escape?"

"I would eat my own feet... no." Phil said as they started to laugh, Dan rolling over. "This is going somewhere... So I can slide through the pipes."

"What is Satan's surname?"

"Bieber." Phil replied.

Scene change, Dan is back on the ground with Phil...

"Dan needs an abortion." Dan says as Phil opens his mouth as if to bite Dan, but quickly pulling away. "What?"

Phil did it again and moved away but Dan caught him this time. He started to chuckle. "Stop it."

"Sorry." Phil said quickly.

"If you could change the surname you had, what would be your decision?"

"Uhm... STRIKER."

Dan started to laugh.

"Phil Striker." He said again.

"Look what I can do." Dan said, starting to move his fingers smoothly against each other... in a different way then most people, or well, at least Phil.

"I can do it too, look." Phil said, attempting to do it as well but failing.

"No you're not."

"This is just the same."

"Phil, why don't you like feet?" Dan asked.

"Because creepy people like you ask me to take pictures of them while I'm lying on my bed covered in honey. That's why I don't like feet." Phil rambled on about, shrieking when Dan shoved his feet into his face.

"If you were Osama Bin Laden, where would you be hiding?"

"In your mum... No." Phil said, flipping his hair back as he and Dan laughed.

Dan, extremely close to the camera yet again, asked, "If you could create your own ice cream flavor, what would you choose?"

"Mega bailey's sherbert chocolate truffle candy mountain explosion." Phil said.

Dan lifted his head so that his eyes were in view. The widened. "CHILDREN."

Dan moved back with Phil now laying on the bed.

"Would you rather have a magnetic head or be bald for the rest of your life?"

Phil started to laugh as Dan smiled. "I think I'd rather have a magnetic head."

"You'd rather have a magnetic head than be bald for the rest of your life?"

"Yeah."

"You could just wear a wig."

"True."

"You'd walk into your kitchen and it would be like; 'oh I'm going-AHHHHH." Exclaimed Dan as he started to hit himself in the head, falling over.

"It would go something like this. Whoop." Dan said before lifting up the hairdryer and crashing it into Phil's head.

"Owww." Phil said, chuckling slightly.

Back to the hand thing.

"Can you- look, look, look, look Phil."

"I am."

Dan then proceeds to do the hand thing.

"Yeah, look I'm doing it." Phil said, still trying to do it.

Dan started to laugh. "No you're not." He said, whacking his hands away.

"Dinosaurs or robots?"

"Dinosaurs." Phil said.

"Robots." Dan said.

Their heads snapped to each other.

"What?"

"I'm a dinosaur!"

"Rarr, er er." Dan said, moving like a robot. "Boooo."

"Can you please reenact your version of _Titanic _with Dan?"

"Yeah." Phil said happily.

The scene starts to speed up.

"Oh look, a boat! I'm going to win you a ticket Rose!"

"Yeahh!.. I'm flying Jack, I'm flying!"

"Oh, it's beautiful Jack." Dan said as Phil finished drawing him as 'one of his french girls'.

"Ice berg, right ahead!"

"Nooo! Quickly!"

"Bwaah!" They made a noise, pretending to jump overboard.

"I'll never let go Jack... Ahh, NOOOO!"

Time went back to normal.

"I love it when you guys say zehbra, can you say it again?

"Zehbra."

"Zehbra."

"Zebra."

They then went on a rampage of how many times they could say 'zebra'... IN SPLIT SCREENING.

"Would you rather have a hook for a hand or a wheel for a foot?"

Phil chuckled slightly. "A wheel for a foot." He said, starting to slip off of his bed and on to the floor next to Dan.

"Shrrruuu." Is the noise he made, lifting his leg into the air.

"You'd have a wheel for a foot? You keep chosing the things that will make your life the most difficult." Dan pointed out. "How would you go upstairs?"

"I'd wheel up the stairs."

"Of course you would."

"What is your favorite onomatopoeia?"

"Crackle." Phil said.

"I like that. Craaackle."

"Craackle."

"What's yours?"

'What's my favorite one?" Dan asked.

"Mmhmm."

Dan sat up slighting, moving his hand in a circle with his pointer finger pointing up. "Microwave." Dan said, grinning at Phil.

"That's not a onomatopeia." Phil said, starting to laugh, Dan following.

"Yes it is!"

"What would you do if everybody you knew suddenly turned into duck?"

"What would you do?" Phil asked.

"What would I do?"

"Mmhmm."

"Have a massive pancake." _**(A/N Me too probs.)**_

"It is, listen!" Dan said, his voice cracking slightly. "Microwave." He started to laugh looking at Phil's face. "It is!" He said defensively.

"If you were invincible, what is one thing you would do that would usually kill you?"

The phone started to ring.

"Answer the phone."

"Is Dan in love with Nick Jonas?

"What? Don't be stupid. Of course I'm not in love with Nick Jonas!"

"Well what's that then?" Phil asked, reaching over to grab the paper sitting in Dan's shirt.

"What's what?" Dan asked, freaking out when Phil started to pull out the photo of Nick Jonas. "No, no, don't!" He exclaimed, trying to stop it.

"Ah ha!"

"No this- this is personal! Personal!" Dan said, looking into the camera.

* * *

_**words cannot even describe how excited I am for philisnotonfire 6 :D**_

_**see you soon with part 3!**_


	3. Part 3

Opening scene, Dan and Phil with Dan on his phone.

"Do you guys have a cat whiskers fetish or something?" Dan asked, not in his normal voices.

"Uh no... Whisker cat whisker." Phil sung.

Music started to play but quickly stopped.

"Brahhh."

"Meep."

"If you had to lose one sense, what would it be?"

"I would lose the sense of... dance." Phil said, starting to dance as music played in the background.

Dan then started to speak a different language, looking at Phil. "It's a yes or no question."

"Si!" Phil said.

"Disgusting."

"What does it mean?"

"Why did you have sex with the donkey?" Dan 'translated'.

"Waahh." Phil shrieked, covering his mouth.

"Insidious." Phil said, throwing a fake spider at Dan.

Dan started to laugh. "No."

"No, no, no."

"It's my new pet." Phil said.

"It's the worst thing in the world." Dan remarked.

"Why are there no more dinosaurs?" Dan asked.

"Because they got sad and exploded."

"Say zehbra!"

"Again?"

The scene changed and now Phil has a zebra mask.

"Zebra."

"As if I couldn't be anymore terrified."

"Mehhh." Phil pitched out as Dan laughed.

"ZEBRAAAAA." Dan cried, flailing his arms as Phil got closer to the camera, groaning 'mehhh' again.

"What would you not do for one thousand pounds?"

"Eat a, dog." Phil answered.

"For example." Dan said laughing along with Phil.

"Touch Dan's spine and say a magic word."

"Kablam."

"What would happen if your hairstyles switched directions? Would it throw the balance of the universe?"

Then they switched hairstyles.

"My actually looks quite good."

"We both look exactly the same." Dan remarked.

They mysterious/scary music started playing as the screen turned yellow/orange.

"If you mix a lion and a walrus, what noise would it make?"

"Raaaaaaarr"

"Rawrrrree."

"What is my life?"

"Hat unlocked." Dan said, now with his fuzzy hat on his head as Phil played with a stuffed animal.

"Make up a song with the words hyper, kirby, plumber, and sword."

"Hyper, kirbym plumber and swoooord." Dan sang as Phil danced slightly in the background.

"That was good." Phil said.

"Can you fit an apple in your mouth?"

"Th-that is almost fully in his mouth." Phil said as Dan said 'help'.

Phil reached over and helped Dan pull the apple out of his mouth. It shot out and flew across the room, hitting the wall on the other side.

"Phil, make the best elephant noise possible. Dan, while he makes this noise, do the best interpret dance behind him, channeling ULTIMATE SORROW."

"Mrahh. Mrahh." Phil said as Dan did the ultimate sorrow dance behind him.

"In all greek mythology, it was said that Zeus gave birth to Athena through his forehead. How would you feel about giving birth through your forehead?" Dan asked as Phil laughed slightly.

"Does that mean Zeus has a... on his forehead?"

"A birth area." Dan filled in.

"Brlahhh."

"Well it said- Phiiil." Dan scolded.

"Sorry."

"And along came Zeus, plsss." Dan sang.

"How much wood could a wood chuck chuck of a wood chuck could CHUCK NORRIS." Dan said.

"Chu-" Phil cut himself off by laughing.

Scene changed and Dan is now waving his butt to the camera, singing.

"Stop it. No!"

"Would you punch every single member of Glee square in the face?" Phil asked.

"No, only the one's who have boring story lines... LIKE QUIN'S BABY."

Phil started biting on his toe...

"What is the highest noise you can make?" Dan asked.

"MEHAAAAAA." Dan and Phil both made the noise of.

Phil's crotch shot as Dan fixed his fringe.

"What is snokaplasum?"

"Everything you could ever dream of." Phil said, rubbing a yellow substance, known as snokoplasum, all over his face.

"Draw what you think you would look like as a unicorn."

UNICORN DRAWING COMMENCE!

"Da da!"

They both started laughing as they looked at each others.

"What is that?"

"Well, it's got a katana_**(A/N I honestly don't even know what he said. I couldn't really make it**** out.)**_for a horn and it's made of fire and it's got a chain saw tail and it poops stars." Dan said.

"Mine is a rainbow unicorn with flame feet-" Dan cut him off.

"It looks like a racoon wearing a party hat." Dan butted in.

"Do a high pitched voice."

"Well, luckily I bought this." Phil said, lifting up a tub of helium.

"How convinent!"

"What's anticlockwise?" Phil asked as Dan face palmed.

Phil let out one of his famous squeals when he figured it out, with the help of Dan of course.

It started to fill up. "Ah." Phil said softly.

He let it go and it floated up.

Dan started sucking air from the purple balloon.

"Say 'literally'." Phil said.

"Literally." Dan said, his voice higher pitched. He and Phil burst into laughter.

"Say, 'hey guys!'"

"Hey guys!" Phil said with his higher pitched voice. They started to laugh again.

"Meow."

"Meow."

"Meow."

"Meow." Phil giggled slightly, causing Dan to start laughing hysterically.

"Good heliums."

"Bouncy, bouncy bouncy-" BOOM. "Ow, oooh. So much permanent brain damage. Is this real life?"

"I look like Eric Northman."

"You look like Edward Cullen."

Dan looked offended. "That was uncalled for!"

"You're glittering!"

"I'll make your mum glitter if you don't shut up! In her forehead birthing area!"

"Mee." Phil cooed... before Dan hit him in the face. "Oww." Phil cried as Dan laughed.

"What's your favorite Pokemon?"

"Growlithe."

"Do an American accent." Dan said, completely unenthusiastic."

"Bro."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Phil spoke up.

"Bacteria." They started to laugh.

"I want to scratch my nose but I can't!" Dan complained.

"Oh."

Dan then tried blowing on his nose but to no avail did it work.

"Blow on my nose." Phil was about to. "That's weird, don't do that." Dan stopped him.

"If someone told you you could go into space, would you."

"FA-JESUS CHRIST!" Dan screamed when Phil scared him.

"If you were kidnapped by aliens, what would you say?"

"Snarf!"

"Please perform a duet of any song."

_"I can show you the world, shining shimmering spree-"_

"Stop, that's creepy!"

Dan started to laugh.

Then they proceeded to show the most attractive face before the video ended.

* * *

_**Ahh, I love Dan and Phil...**_

_**See you later with part 4!**_


	4. Part 4

"I think I discovered why we act the way we do in these videos." Dan stated.

"Why?" Phil asked, drawing on his cat nose.

"We just get high off the sharper fumes." Dan finished as Phil started to laugh.

"Whisker, whisker, whisker." Phil sang as Dan swayed in the background, crossing his eyes.

"Satisfactory whiskers?" Phil asked. Dan gave a thumbs up.

"Why aren't you in my bed?"

"Because you're tweeelve." Phil sang before he and Dan started to laugh.

"Quack like a duck."

Then they started quacking like ducks.

"That was surprisingly good." Phil said proudly.

"Would you please do an impression of the rare, endangered Benedict Ottobat?"

"I think you can do that the best." Phil said.

Dan turned his head and made the face.

Phil started laughing.

"A Dan sized pea or a pea sized Dan?"

"A pea sized Dan? Could imagine eating that?" Phil asked.

"No, no. That would be a Dan sized pea."

"Oh. Ohh." Phil said.

"Oh, I'm Phil everybody." Dan mocked.

"Can you put both of your toes in your mouth at the same time? Go on, it will be sexy." Dan said. "Do it."

Phil started to do it. "Is this sexy?" Sexy music started playing. Phil then managed to hit himself in the face. "Ow, I just hit myself in the face." He said, laughing slightly.

Phil then proceeded to try again. "Ladies and gentlemen, your future husband."

"Oww, I did it! I did it!" Phil proclaimed happily.

"Would you like a pepperoni nose or a fish tail chin?"

Phil laughed slightly. "Pepperoni nose, ultimate snacks! Om, om, om." Phil said, moving his hand from his nose to his mouth, gesturing himself eating as if his nose were indeed a pepperoni.

"How disturbing would a fish tail chin be? Hey, sexy lady let's make out! Bleh, blo blo blo." Dan said, moving his hand back and forth on his chin, gesturing that he has a fish tail chin.

"Serious question! Which character do you think you're most like from The Avengers?" Dan asked.

"Definitely Thor." Phil said, lifting up his arm to flex his 'muscles'. "No..?"

Scene change, Dan and Phil's face close to the camera.

"Can you draw each other's faces?" Dan asked, rubbing his chin while Phil crossed his eyes.

Time sped up as Dan and Phil commenced their drawings.

"Do do do dooo." Phil sang as they showed their creations.

"What the f_*bleep*_ is that?"

"I think it's like a photograph!" Phil said, holding it up to the camera.

"What? Who did you even draw?"

"You!.. I'm sorry, I tried."

Dan then smacked the papers out of Phil's hands. "No, nooo, noooo."

"Bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz... bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz." Dan buzzed and himself and Phil danced.

"Would you rather have screaming nipples or a tongue that constantly interrupts you?"

"Screaming nipples would be terrifying, imagine that."

"BAAAAH."

Then it happened again, only in slow motion.

"I would go for the interrupting bluhleubluh."

"Phil, do an impression of a moth but Dan does an impression of a worm."

They started doing their impressions...

"You're not really into this whole worm thing, are you?" Phil pointed out.

"Worms aren't exactly dramatic creatures!" Dan defended.

"Phil, touch Dan's neck."

"No, fskhaaa! Ahh! R-get off me now!" Dan cried when Phil touched his neck.

"They internet needs it though!"

"I will... eviscerate you." Dan threatened.

"Do the macarana."

They started to, but Phil seemed to be doing it wrong...

"One maca two maca three macarana. Maca maca macarana, I'm doing this wrong, macarana, hey macarana! Ieee! You didn't spin around... That sounded disturbing."

"Hey Justin, would you like to stoke my coragie_**(A/N I have no idea how to spell**_** it)**?"

Dan burst into laughter... but it soon turned into some kind of scream.

"Oh my God, it's slender Justin. Oh God." Phil said, laughing slightly.

"Phil, try to see how many spoons you can balance on your face. Dan, distract him."

"Poo, poo. Delia Smith. Myra Stewart... One!" Dan said when Phil finished.

"More wiggling!"

"Dan, you can't have bare feet on the internet."

"Socks are for, losers!" Dan said.

"Have you failed?"

"Yes."

"Arhh!" Phil chirped, giving a thumbs down.

"Dan, what do you look like with glasses on?"

"Oh ugh, you are blind!" Dan pointed out.

"I am a mole rat."

"Oh my God."

"Quiff!" Phil said, holding his fringe up.

"What would happen if I took out your contact lenses and turned the lights off?" Dan asked.

"I would be on the floor going, _help mee._"

Dan put Phil's glasses to the camera lens. "There you go, that's how blind I am."

"Is that your browsing position?"

"If you could pickle anything, what would you pickle?"

"Your mum."

"Guhoyy."

"It had to be said sometime."

"Ding ding ding."

"I would actually pickle a pickle." Phil said.

"That would just be like, a more intense pickle."

"Exactly.

Dan pulled a face before he and Phil started laughing.

"This one is especially for Dan."

"I feel special."

"You are."

_**(A/N ... OH MY FUCKING GOD... I can't be the only one who squealed with ultimate joy upon hearing that for the first time.)**_

"Uh..."

They started to laugh.

"Do Kristen Stewart's Vogue face to the camera and pose."

"Get the wig!"

Dan put on the wig and pulled the face, Phil laughing in the background.

"That's terrifying." Phil said.

"Hey, I just met you." Dan sang.

"No more wig."

"This is illegal and horrible!" Phil cried as Dan placed the Queen's mask over his crotch and thrusted his hips back and forth.

The pulled the Ottobat face again.

"John, John why? Mariati."

"I feel like... that was a mistake." Phil said, him and Dan laughing.

"Do you have any wired addictions?"

"Oh, I love wires." Phil said.

"Ohh, wires, wires." Phil moaned, playing with the wires.

"I can't quit you wires!"

"What is the sexiest face you can pull?"

Dan and Phil then pulled probably the most sexiest and attractive face ever... *cough* not *cough.

"Everyone just unsubscribed." Phil said as they both started to laugh again.

The screaming nipples played again in slow motion.

* * *

_**Which one of the 'phil is not on fire's' is your favorite? I honestly can't choose XD**_

_**Hope you enjoyed and I will see you tomorrow with the final PINOF on the annivisary date.**_


	5. Part 5

"We should probably get our noses ready."

"Nose workout!"

Wriggling the noses with playful music in the background.

"I think the fumes are affecting me already." Phil said as Dan laughed.

"Could you explain the theory behind the whiskers?"

"I'd tell you but we'd have to kill you." Said Phil before they hissed at the camera.

"Talk in spanish!" Phil exclaimed.

"Taco."

"Oh La!"

"Burrito."

"Oh Le!"

"Enchilada."

"Oh Lu!"

"Quesedilla."

"Youre just saying spanish foods." Phil said as Dan laughed.

"How do you think the wrecking ball felt?" Dan asked, looking back at Phil.

"Sad."

Dan then proceeded to beat-box as Phil danced.

"Would you rather a penis on your face or boobs on your shoulder?" Dan asked.

"Definitely shoulder boobs." Phil released his shirt from his face. They'd be american football padding but better."

Dan laughed. "Shoulder pads? Eat the boob! Pssh!"

"So bouncy."

Danthen again started beat-boxing as Phil bounced around.

"Probably a bit painful though." Phil said.

"Wouldn't you like, lactate everywhere in the night?"

Phil laughed. "Blllew."

"Cause that's how boobs work."

"What is the lowest sound you can make?"

And then they proceeded to find the lowest sound they can make.

"How much fringe do you actually have?" Phil asked messing his hands in his hair as Dan hung his head low.

"Okay you win."

"Maybe you just have a really giant head."

"Would you rather have really big eyes or a really tiny mouth?" Phil asked quickly.

"Uh, I like to eat a lot of food so I'm not going to sacrifice my mouth." Dan said, holding up a peace sign.

"Make a slow motion video."

"Let's do it." Phil said doing half sit ups.

"You ready?" Dan asked.

"Yep."

Then they did things, turning them into slow motion after.

"Phil, important question."

"Yes?"

"Danosaurs or dragons?"

"Dinosaurs. Dadadadada."

"Brahh, go my flames!"

"Ah, true."

"I have a zed axis bitch. Kahkahkah."

"You're not even real! I could just rub you out with my imagination."

"Touche."

"Seductively advertise cornflakes."

"Hey, wanna make out?... Cornflakes." Dan said, holding up a box with Phil laughing in the background.

"Say the first word that comes to your mind."

"Shack! Go!"

"Goat!"

"When was the last time you had a pillow fight?" Phil asked before knocking Dan in the face.

"Oh, you are in for it! Bam!"

"Ow!"

"If you were a professional wrestler, what would your name be?"

"Ricky Blitz... I don't know where that came from." Phil said laughing.

"Ka bam bam bam." Dan said while whacking myself in the butt.

"Dannnnninator."

"Daninator."

"Dan be a squid squirting ink while Phil is a butterfly with no wings."

"I'm crashing, I'm crashing!" Phil said falling to the side.

"Blllhh." Dan made a sound of.

"Where can I hide the body?"

"Eat it."

"Or dress as it... Skin coat." Phil said, dancing slightly while Dan gave him a disturbed look.

"Gahhh." Phil said as Dan lowered his legs in front of him.

"Do your best impression of a laughing goose."

"Aoh aoh aoh aoh, die child! Peck, peck, peck, peck!"

"I've been cut in half."

"Phil, freak Dan out without touching his body."

"Danny, it's time for your neck exam." Phil then started blowing on my neck, causing Dan to jump up, whack the air and start cracking up in laughter.

"Would you rather have fingernails instead of nipples or nipples instead of fingernails?"

"Fingernails for nipples cause then you can use them as a weapon." Phil said before jumping up and pretending to attack me with his fingernail nipples.

"That's the disturbing thing that's ever happened... STOOOP!"

We then continued our pillow fight. "Gahhh!" Dan yelled before hitting Phil again.

"Bahh, bah, bah." Phil exclaimed.

"Make up a best friend handshake."

"Start with this." Dan hit his fist into his. "Then."

"Ow."

"Sorry." Phil said laughing.

"Hey there friend."

"Hello sir."

"Bsh, bsh, bsh, bsh, bsh, BOOM!"

"Friendship!"

"Yeah!"

"Ow, my hands."

"That hurt so much."

"Oh my god."

"If Sarah Michelle Gellar had the neck of a giraffe, would you still date her?"

"Yes."

"You say that. Take a look at the image."

"Oh my god. That's horrible. Did you make that?"

Dan nodded.

"Sarah, I'm sorry... She's still pretty though." Phil then started making weird moves with his tongue.

"Attack on Titan."

"Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Mikasa!"

"Attempt to talk backwards! Spatula."

"Atulus. Sustow"

"Monkfish."

"Ksnifnom. Monksnif."

"Lick your shoulder. I bet it will not be disturbing."

"Eh uh ah." Came out of Phil's mouth.

"Kabump." Said Phil as he threw a ball at Dan head.

Dan started laughing. "Phil, put on Dan's leather t-shit."

"Oh no."

"How do you even put this on?"

"With great difficulty"

Dan then went on laughing hysterically at Phil.

"I feel like I'm giving birth backwards! Ugh, ahh."

"Say hello to the new Phil." Dan said, pulling my hand away from his eyes.

They both burst out into laughter.

"It's so squeaky and chaffing."

"I bought it as a joke, okay."

"Ohhh, I feel like a serial killer."

"Ha, this says, Phil do the sexy end screen dance."

Phil started laughing. "Well, I'm the right place for it. Okay, ready?"

"And you're in my costume. Okay, go."

"It's the awkward sexy end screen dance. If you want to check out Dan's videos, you can click on his face right here."

Dan waved to the camera. "Hi."

"And if you want to subscribe to me then click in this area."

"I'm going to point over there."

"Don't be shy, click away."

"No, no, no! Not towards the camera!" Dan exclaimed.

"Okay, okay. I'm learning. Sexxxy." Phil said.

Dan started to laugh.

"I can't do it anymore." Phil said as he fell onto the bed.

"Okay, I'm bailing, I'm bailing."

Then wthey started the slow-mo video again.

Phil then made a cat noise and Dan made a horse noise.

* * *

_**and there is the end... BUT not for long as PINOF 6 should be coming out soon! :D**_

_**Hope you guys enjoyed this and I will see you next time :)**_

_**~Strawberry4life**_


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